Therapies I've tried

Hi, my name is Nadia Miller, and I’d like to speak to you today about my mental health illness: My experience with it, the journey that I’ve been on, and how I’ve overcome it.

And I’m doing this with the view to hoping that it’ll help those out there that are going through this struggle at the moment.

To provide hope. Positivity. And to show that you can get through it. And that it can take time. 

It all started with me in high school, where I developed coping mechanisms of self-harmand suicidal thoughts.

And that was due to a lot of tragedies that I went through at the time. My mother was in and out of mental health hospitals. And she had a lot of illness. And my dad committed suicide when I was 12.

My brother, later, then committed suicide when he was 20. He had bipolar.

"So, throughout high school, I had a lot of counselling for these problems of self-harm I was having."

That didn’t really help me, and a few years later it became apparent in my working life that I needed to see a psychiatrist, to establish what was going on.

He diagnosed me with depression. The first psychiatrist that I saw. And then referred me for CBT therapy. Cognitive behavioural therapy.

And that was helpful for topics that I was struggling with at the time. But it didn’t help me with the greater aspects of my issue. To be able to cope with life in general.

So, later on, a few years later, I saw another psychiatrist. And he diagnosed me with traits of an emotionally unstable personality disorder. Borderline personality disorder.

And that was really helpful for me.

"Even though it was really hard being labelled with something like that, I looked it up. I ticked all the boxes. And then was able to get the right treatment for me."

I’m researching therapy myself that might be helpful. The psychiatrist said NHS therapy will be the way to go. And it could take a while. It could be rebuilding your foundations from childhood. And that’s okay.

So, this is 15 years in. I’ve seen counsellors. Two therapists. And now he’s referring me to see another one through the NHS.

That was primary care at the time. And then following that batch that ended, of schema therapy, which was also useful, but wasn’t that great for me at the time. I was referred to another therapist, after a long waiting time with the NHS.

And that worked really well for me. It was compassionate-based therapy. And dialectical behavioural therapy. And that was really helpful.

It’s been over a month now since I’ve finished therapy. And it’s been a year since I’ve self-harmed. Never have had suicidal thoughts.

"And this is like an amazing feeling. I can’t describe it. It’s like I’m in an outer body experience. Like I’m in somebody else’s body."

So, hopefully, by sharing this, I can show you that, yes, it can take a long time, sometimes. But you can get through it. And I believe in you.