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Getting mental health support at work made all the difference to me
Posted Friday 8 March 2013
Five years ago, I was a solicitor at a large law firm in the City doing well and moving up the ranks. I was in a stable, long term relationship and surrounded by many friends and family.
But when I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, things began to unravel for me. Very quickly.
I didn't want to have a mental health problem. That wasn't who I was. I didn't like the way it made me feel - different, alone, unlikeable and unlovable.
Thankfully, I was lucky enough to work somewhere where I was supported throughout my mental health problem. Perhaps more than anything, the understanding and support my colleagues gave me and the routine of getting up and going into work helped me to move my life forwards.
I decided I wasn't going to try to hide what I was going through at work. I trusted the people I worked with and confided in my bosses. This enabled the people around me to offer me tremendous support. It was this that helped me to keep going and, ultimately, to get better.
One of the partners at my law firm took the lead in supporting me. We spoke pretty much every day - sometimes just briefly and sometimes for much longer. It was invaluable to know that there was someone at work looking out for me and making sure I was ok. Someone who I could turn to and ask for help, without having to give a long explanation as to what was wrong or worrying about what their response would be, made all the difference.
My anxiety made it difficult for me to socialise, to connect with people and to concentrate. I lost a tremendous amount of confidence and would constantly question myself and my judgment.
The depression was like a fog that would descend on me, and when it did, it would exhaust me and, at times, make it impossible for me to get out of bed, let alone out of my flat.
My period of depression and anxiety lasted two years. In that time, my long-term relationship broke down, I lost a number of friends and I had to move out of my home.
I got help to try and understand what was happening to me. Thanks to medication, cognitive behaviour therapy and psychotherapy, I found ways to cope. Good friends and family members stuck with me when there seemed to be no end in sight.
There were some things at work that I found particularly difficult at this time. Working on very confrontational matters, for example, and factually complex cases that required high levels of concentration. But there were lots of things that I could still do. Through our ongoing dialogue, the partner and I ensured that I remained productive. This helped me enormously as I felt I still had a valuable and ongoing role to play. It also ensured that the law firm was getting a real benefit from me throughout this time.
In terms of where I am now, I am still in therapy and I still have tough days. But I have moved out of the shadows of the last few years thanks to the support of my employer.
David
David will not be available to answer comments so Nat from our Policy and Campaigns team will be responding on his behalf.
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20 Comments
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Great to hear David, and wishing you well.
Unfortunately not the most common line taken by employers and in certain industries i.e. retail, service, it would be far removed from this employer because the workforce is more easily disposable.
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Getting employers to change their attitudes is for me, one of Mind's most important aims. In professional jobs employers can be even more scared to keep staff with mental health problems. Mine wanted only to hear that I had a temporary problem that had neatly resolved, and that I could double my workload on returning to work to catch up. When I eventually took an overdose they would never have known if I hadnt been completely open and honest with them, and I said I would resign. Their response was to start disciplinary action against me for the misuse of the drugs three days after I left intensive care. I guess they wanted to make sure I left. I dont think I will ever overcome the shame I feel, and I do not see a future ahead. I know I am not alone in this.
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This was great to hear. I also have had a similar experience with my current direct manager who has been very supportive. Previously quite often my managers didn't seem comfortable having conversations about what I needed to help me manage my illness which was also depression and anxiety. I now offer support throughout my company with one to one support and mentoring to those working whilst suffering from an illness or returning to work after time away due to a mental health issue. It's also really helped me and I hope one day i can be the support link you've described in your post.
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David, your blog has really hit the mark and struck a valuable cord with me in relevance right now and I thank you for that. I too have been struggling with Mental Health issues for just over five years and my employer has been an incredible source of support although I would stress they are caught between a rock and a hard place with my diagnosis and the NHS at times.
It is not like a broken bone or torn ligament in that other people can easily see and evaluate, however my openness when possible has enabled those around me to treat me with compassion and respect. My recent confirmed diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder with Depressive episodes sadly came at the end of a string of other false starts. I used alcohol to try and cope with my difficulties of stress and depression outside of work. Work was my saving grace and it was comforting to submerge myself in the job and the travelling to the various parts of the country that my job involved. Although looking back I can see it was a mask and enabled me to withdraw. Eventually I crashed and burnt and along with it a long term relationship of ten years. I moved out and five years down the line I sadly still could not turn that relationship around even though I have tried and still love that person with my all. I don't have family to turn to but I am grateful to those who do support me and above all I have humility and a deep respect for my employer not kicking me into touch and giving me a last chance to prove my worth and value on this earth. I do not say this lightly as I appreciate I am one of the lucky ones with respect to work but in times of desperation and despair it is not something that immediately springs to mind.
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Hello, it’s Nat from the policy team at Mind. Thanks everyone for your input.
@Ash and Ange – thank you both for sharing your experiences. We’d like to hear in more detail about how your employer supported you and what kinds of adjustments you found most helpful in this process. If you’re happy to share more detail about your experiences, please can you contact me at n.miles@mind.org.uk – thank you.
@Mindreader – thanks also for your comment. Our Taking Care of Business campaign aims to change attitudes across all sectors, by showing that open and supportive workplaces benefit everyone– employees, employers and the bottom line. The campaign is ramping up again this month – offering free webinars and resources to employers so they are better equipped to support the mental health of their staff. By doing this we hope to continue to change workplace cultures to ensure that more people experience the type of positive support from their employers that David and others have done.
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@Emu – It sounds like you had an incredibly difficult experience – we’re really sorry to hear this and we understand that it must have been very tough indeed. You certainly shouldn’t feel ashamed – it sounds as though it was your employer who behaved poorly while you tried to be open and honest about your situation.
When people are treated badly by an employer in this way it’s important to remember that we have rights. The Equality Act prohibits discrimination because of disability, so forcing you out for that reason would have been wrong. However, there is a time limit on bringing a claim. If you’d like more information about this, please get in touch with our legal advice service on 0300 466 6463 or legal@mind.org.uk.
We 100% share your view that getting employers to change their attitudes must remain a priority for Mind. We are firmly committed to tackling this type of prejudice and we won’t give up until everyone experiencing a mental health problem gets both support and respect from their employer. We’ve got a lot of work planned this year to raise awareness, change attitudes in the workplace and to give employers the confidence and the tools to respond to mental health in a positive, supportive way.
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With previous mental health problems in my lastemployment I was supported and it helped me to recover and keep things in check. I was able to return to work and soon back handling a complex and challenging workload and loving it. Things have been fine for a number of years until last year. when I reported mental health problems my employer held a disciplinary interview and imposed a written warning. At the time I had not lost one day to illness nor failed to meet any targets. After 6 months of attending NHS counselling and keeping my feelings bottled up in work I thought I was winning. Unfortuneatly I was refused a pay raise as I had had the disciplinary and when I questioned their discrimination was told 'we had to do something. These people who go on killing rampages start somewhere'. I had to take sick leave as I am frightened that trying to continue in my job at present could lead to a final warning.
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'These people who go on killing rampages start somewhere"
Well nice to know these enlightened attitudes still exist in 21st Century Britain. What chance do we have in the workplace? 75% of employers don't want us and to be quite honest I really do NOT want to be in a position where ignorant people think I am a danger and act on it as it has happened twice to me.
It seems once yur labelled your finished
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I'm seeing two people [current and ex service users] go through tribunals and disciplinary procedures [NHS Trust and higher education] which are impacting on their health quite seriously. The reason why they will probably lose their jobs? - because of 1] prejudice and 2] you have to toe the party line or be removed by any means possible.
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Hello, it’s Nat from the policy team at Mind again. Thank you for the further posts.
@Meg – you seem to be in the middle of a very difficult and upsetting experience. We’re so sorry to hear that you’re being treated in such an unfair and discriminatory way – it must have been very hurtful to be spoken to and treated in that way. We would advise you to get some advice about this. You have rights – the Equality Act prohibits discrimination because of disability. Please get in touch with our legal advice service on 0300 466 6463 or legal@mind.org.uk if you’d like more information about this.
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Linda do you have a reference for the percentage of employers who don't wish to employ people with psych history please? [would be useful for those who demand references or assume we're making it up]
Thanks
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I have suffered from depression for many years but had it well under control for the last 5 years and was reducing the medication with a view to coming off it completely. However a work situation arose last September which I was unable to cope with. My boss decided, without discussing it with me, that as part of an office move around he was moving me to an office on my own (I shared with one other person previously). I protested, complained, cried, discussed, offered alternatives, told him I couldn't cope with it and how ill it was making me, for a month. He said that despite what I had said he was going ahead with the move. I lasted the day, went to the doctors the following day, absolutely distraught and asking them for help to cope. Result was 5 months off work sick. My employer refused to have a meeting until my doctor signed me fit and she wouldn't sign me fit until the problem which made me ill was resolved. Impasse. So followed a medical report from my gp then a meeting with and report from an Occupational health physician. Everyone except my boss could understand my problem. After the oh report he did agree to a meeting and offered that I could sit in the general open plan office, something I had suggested 4 months before!! I returned to work on 4th March for 2 weeks half days and this is my first week of full days. It is so hard as although the problem has been resolved I have a long way to go before I am where I was last September. I had always used the routine of work to keep my depression under control and I found having to "perform" there all day helped, even if it was exhausting. In fact the longer I was off work, the worse I became. Now he is being Mr understanding, asking me if I am ok all the time, offering me time out if I need it, checking I am not being overloaded with work etc. Shame he could not be this understanding before. Sorry this is so long.
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Liz, I would be interested to understand more as I am currently off sick from work with similar issues.
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@Liz – Hi Liz, sorry for not getting back to you sooner.
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had such a difficult experience recently. It must have been tough to have such an unhelpful and obstructive response from your employer which has clearly had a damaging impact on your mental health and made things much worse. We know it’s very difficult and frustrating when people won’t listen to what you’re trying to tell them.
We’re glad to hear that your boss is now being more understanding and that you’ve been able to return to work. This may be a good moment to talk about what happened and to explain about the triggers that can affect your mental health – such as being isolated from colleagues.
A useful tool to help you do this is a Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP). It’s a form that you complete and share with your manager – it allows you to together develop some tailored support in advance for a time when you’re not coping so well. It does this by looking at the impact of your mental health problem on performance, the workplace triggers and early warning signs, steps for your line manager to take and steps for you to take. Let us know if you’d like us to share the WRAP template with you Liz.
If things get bad again it might also be helpful to have some third party support or mediation. It’s good that Occupational Health were some help in the end but is there a colleague that could act as an advocate on your behalf? Unions and many local Minds also provide advocacy or mediation services – it may be worth approaching your local Mind to see how they can help. If you’d like to find out more about the legal situation, please get in touch with our legal advice service on 0300 466 6463 or legal@mind.org.uk.
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Mindreader
The National Mental health development unit used statistics from HM Govt State of the Nation report 2010 and DWP dept of health 2009.
Estimated employment rates
Working age population 72.5%
Any disability 47.5%
Any mental illness 13.5%1 in 4 people think someone with a mental health problems should not have the same rights to a job.
Fewer than 4 in 10 employers would consider recruiting someone with a mental health problem.
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Nat - thanks for the reply. I would be interested in seeing the WRAP template, even if I do not share it with the boss. It may be useful to get my thoughts in the right order.
Although he can now see that I have a problem he still doesn't really see why moving into an office alone should cause a problem. Told he never will as he does not suffer from depression an d therefore does not have isolation issues. Anyway I love my new seating position in the in office, even though some days are still very difficult.
I made the decision to make the reason form my absence public to all staff on my return to stop any gossiping. People have been supportive with nice comments or just not said anything. I felt that it was necessary but am still annoyed that I felt I had to do this as I don't want people to treat me differently even though I am not ashamed of the illness. One person asked this week if I had just been ill this time. When i said no I had suffered for years she was surprised and said she never knew. Told her I was good at living with it!
Ange
You have my sympathy and anything I can do/say to help. What do you want to know.Sorry to everyone else for the long post again. Just find there is so much to say
Liz -
Hi Liz, Nat is away until after Easter, but I will ask him to email you a copy of the WRAP. I hope it helps you communicate with your boss - Take care & good luck,
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Having previously had a serious breakdown, and still suffering from episodic depression, I recently made the decision to leave a job it had taken me two years of constant searching, applications and interviews to be offered, when my employer responded to my query over "mental illness or ill health" being cited in my employment contract as an example of "gross negligence" and reason for instant dismissal. Their "reasoning" was "we're a professional firm in a challenging sector, and our clients need to know that all our staff are on top of the game." No point advising that they weren't legally allowed to cite gross negligence - "we've got very good lawyers, and they advise us we can use gross negligence in these circumstances." Domestic & workload issues were making things difficult, and, as I felt I couldn't risk talking to management, I left, and, as a result, lost my home. I'm now struggling to make an income from my own business, as I couldn't face returning to the jobcentre/benefits system (stressful enough even before the current hate campaign from government) & living in a situation that is very difficult to deal with - my only other option would be homelessness. While it's good to hear that some people, like David, are receiving support from employers, I fear this is a minority attitude, and most employers still feel they're perfectly within their rights simply to get rid of employees with mental health issues.
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I recently lost my job through issues arising out of my anxiety and depression. I'm not keen to get the job back as I don't want to work with a company that doesn't support me in times of crisis- I was in a&e for 5 hours waiting to get referred to a psychiatrist and when I got home my employer rang me to say my employment was terminated. I'm interested I. The WRAP form- would this be appropriate to give a new employer? In the past I've kept my mental health issues to myself at work but reading the blog entry it may be an idea to be more open about them in the future- I'm wary of how much to say however! Any advice would be greatly appreciated, and I'd love to see a copy of the WRAP form. Best of luck to everyone...
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@Caeraeon - Really sorry for not replying to you earlier – for some reason the response I submitted didn’t get published.
Sorry to hear that you've had such a difficult time and that your previous employer had such an unenlightened attitude towards mental health. Our Legal Advice Service (0300 466 6463) could offer you their perspective on the legality of the employers position if this would be helpful.
It is a shame that the current benefits system and debate meant that you couldn't face seeking this type of support, and we will continue to fight for a fairer and more empathetic system.
I agree with you that David's experience may not be typical of how many employers respond to staff experiencing mental health problems, but we do feel that our Taking Care of Business campaign is improving the situation and that this is an issue that employers are beginning to take more seriously.
@Alice – It sounds as though you too have had a difficult experience with an employer. We’re sorry to hear you received such poor treatment – it must have been very upsetting. You too may want to call our Legal Advice Service (0300 466 6463) to get their perspective on the legality of your employer’s position.
The WRAP will soon be available on our website, but in the meantime we’ll email it to you. In answer to your question about being open with your employer, this is something you should think carefully about. Every person’s situation is unique. Our guide ‘How to be mentally healthy at work’ helps you to think through some of the potential risks and the benefits.
You can find the guide here http://www.mind.org.uk/mental_health_a-z/8035_how_to_be_mentally_healthy_at_work
Go to the section on ‘Telling your employer and getting support’ – this should help you to carefully weigh up your decision. You may also find it helpful to think through the possibilities with another person before speaking to your employer.
If you feel you may need adjustments to support you in doing a job role then disclosing your mental health problem once a job offer has been made will make your employer aware of your needs and may mean that they have a duty to consider putting in place the kind of support measures that will help you.
For information about when an employer may have a duty to make adjustments to someone’s job role, have a look at the Mind Legal Briefing on Disability Discrimination in Employment, under the section ‘The duty to make reasonable adjustments’ here http://www.mind.org.uk/mental_health_a-z/8069_disability_discrimination.
We wish you well in searching for a new role and we hope you find a more supportive employer!
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